pg 141 of 188

I sold a painting to some art dealer for $2000. This shelter costs $50 per night and I suggest we loosen up and hit the casino in the town. Panda has nothing better to do and decides that she can take her depression away and fake a smile.

     

The slugs at the door ask for our ID and we both have fakes so they ask the basic questions, Where you live? How long? What flavour butt fucking condoms can I use? etc.”

     

The usual.

    

Panda Bear gets in right away and they're still trying to make me sweat. I have studied my alias perfectly and now they think they could sneak me out with a few silly questions. He looks me in the eye and he sees it. The cross and lets me in with a smile while I sneeze “fuck you”. And he smiles at me in a cloudy haze of reality.

    

Right away, Panda Bear skips to the roulette table.

“How much cash do you have on you?” she asks.

“Well, I have the full $2000 but we need at least $500 to cover the room for the next couple of days,” I say furrowing my brow.

     

But then again, the booze is free, and that's how they get you. Drink all day and night and spend your money on any of our cash sucking machines that pay only the lucky ones who are not maniacal about pressing a button 15x and hoping, just hoping, that they hit it big and smile. I get dragged to the roulette table and instantly put 5 dollars on the spin for red. And the wheel spins and it lands on red. Not too bad for a beginner.

I'm starting to like this a little bit and the drug addict beside me tells me, “You are my lucky charm” and that I should, “Bet 00” and I do, I put $50 on 00 and just as the man predicted, 00 it was. I don't know how much it pays but the dealer just shoveled 100 dollar chips in my direction. Approximately $1750.

     I decide to give Panda Bear the winnings and she's ecstatic. I walk around, people watch. It's kind of depressing, but I lost the girl and I forget about it. $500 lost turns into $700 lost and we still need to save money for the bed and breakfast. And Panda has lost $1400 on a combination of craps, blackjack and roulette. I look in my pocket and there's only $600 left, but we need this money to survive. And she keeps begging for more and more, a rush only a burn could satisfy. And there's no burns scheduled at this casino.

*********

     I decide to test my luck on a machine, my last 20 dollars, room and board gone, no paper money, and no ideas where I'm going to spend the night, maybe under a bridge somewhere, using a lost business briefcase for a blanket. Panda Bear would have to use her prowess to sex someone up but no one's interested in her. She lifts her thong up and she finds a willing customer. Jim and his wad of hundreds end up side by side with Panda Bear.

“This is my friend Jim,” she winks. “We'll be okay.”

     

I won't and I look at a Soldier of Fortune machine in the corner of my eye, flashing, making the regulars drool for a payout. Panda Bear and Slime-bag Jim sit beside me as I insert the last 20 dollars, grocery money, and spin the magical wheel and nothing. I lost $5 out of the $20, then I bet maximum and hit the Soldier of Fortune and it spun and I hit the jackpot and everything goes crazy for a moment. Some people look around in shock and I stand there oafishly. Still watching, the slots attendant congratulates me for the win. And the special number is $200,000 since it was a Progressive slot machine. I sign the slip and run to the bathroom and I looked up in that stall, and I prayed to god, thanking him for not allowing the coke to destroy my life and then find repentance and now I believe. I say a prayer and walk out the Men’s room and security is there with wads of chips and I ask for a check and they say no problem. I know they want me to put some chips on the table but I need to get out of this casino and into something far away. Slime-bag Jim fucks off and it's just me and Panda Bear and we cab to the B&B and I cash the check.

     

We are officially rich, and as I check my bank statement, my wrist feels a tight squeeze and today, at this moment in time I am 27. $200,000 is a nice number to end the day with. 27 and $200,000, I couldn't sleep. I just began writing and came up with my next short story about a man and his wife and their kids and their car. But I don't want that. I need out of this town, this country, this continent, and find myself on land unknown.